Breaking Bread – Thumbs Up

Panera ran this ad by Mullen in USA Today. It asks different feuding people to reconcile by breaking bread.  There are some expected feuding couples in the list, but also some chuckle-worthy obscure ones. Which one is your favorite? Mine is: those who install toilet paper over vs. those who prefer it under.

Thumbs Up – Christmas Lights + Guitar Hero = Awesomeness

Nothing spreads the Christmas cheer quite like houses decorated in Christmas lights.  They light up entire neighborhoods and even the night sky when flying somewhere.  We all remember this video which took Christmas lights to the next level, by coordinating and sequencing certain light setups to Trans-Siberian Orchestra.  It became so popular that the idea was even featured in a Miller Lite commercial.

Now, one house decided to take Christmas lights and music up a notch.  Somehow they sequenced their Christmas lights with a song from Guitar Hero (Cliffs of Dover by Eric Johnson).  The game is played with an actual wireless Wii controller.  The play screen is setup on their garage and the buttons are made from Christmas wreaths wrapped in green, yellow, and red lights.  There’s not much else to say about it except that it is awesome, I’d love to play it, and I’m just waiting for Guitar Hero to pick up this video as a new advertisement for the holidays.

//

//

Comcast OnDemand Descriptions – Thumbs Down

I’m not sure who Comcast is paying to write the descriptions for their OnDemand programming.  I wonder if Comcast even knows, because if they do know who is writing these, I’m surprised the writer(s) still have their job.  Here are a few examples of the awful descriptions:

It’s hard to tell if the comedy is intentional or unintentional.

Check out http://wtfcomcast.tumblr.com/ and judge for yourself.

DJ Steve Porter – Thumbs Up

DJ Steve Porter threw together this remix of the Slap Chop infomercial.  I think the infomercial is much more interesting with some autotune.

He also put together this remix of famous press conferences which any good sports fan should enjoy.

Thumbs Down – Tongue-Eating Parasite

I came across this story from a recent Stephen Colbert show segment called “The Craziest F#?king Thing I’ve Ever Heard” and I have to agree with him.  Apparently, the waters off the coast of Normandy, France cause the fishes to change just a bit.  A parasite known as an isopod survives by eating its hosts’ tongue.  It then attaches itself inside of the hosts’ mouth, acting as the tongue.  Are you serious???

Take me to your leader!

Thankfully, this parasite only attacks fish.  But, what a crazy nightmare that would be if instead of a tongue you had a little critter sitting in your mouth, feeding off of the food you’re putting in your mouth, moving its little critter legs all around the palette of your mouth.  As you can see from the picture, it’s like the little alien from “Men in Black”.

Thumbs Down – Record-Breaking Night Benched

This past Saturday night, Zydrunas Ilgauskas had the opportunity to break the Cleveland Cavaliers franchise record of most games played in a Cavaliers uniform (724 games) when the Cavaliers hosted the Dallas Mavericks.  However, Coach Mike Brown “mistakenly” benched Z for the whole game, saying that he used a smaller, quicker lineup to counter the speed and play of the Mavericks.

Really?? Coach Brown, you went with a smaller lineup to match the smaller lineup that the Mavericks put out there?  You couldn’t sub in Z for a play, a single play, an inbounds play, a play with 5 seconds left in the quarter to save another player from committing another foul???  Really?  That’s what Danny Green does every game for the Cavaliers and you should have at least used Z in a similar way…at least.  You should have started him to begin with.

As a result, Ilgauskas received the first “Did Not Play- Coach’s Decision” in his entire 11 year career.

Really?? On the night that a player is supposed to break the franchise record for games played for that franchise, he gets his first ever DNP for a coach’s decision??  Really Coach Brown??  Talk about irony.

It was reported that Ilgauskas was so upset about not playing in the first half that he asked the coach to not play him at all in the second half.  Way to go Coach.  Upset the one man who has been through all of the ups and downs of the team for 11 years, all of the turmoil, all of your recent success, that he requests to not play.  Good work.  Luckily, the Cavaliers host the Phoenix Suns on Wednesday so Ilgauskas will still be able to break the record at home.  Coach Brown should start Z, call the first play for Z to pop out and drop an 18-footer, and then call a timeout so that Z can receive the standing ovation that he rightfully deserves.  And, during this timeout, Coach Brown should deliver an apology video immediately followed by a congratulatory video on the jumbotron.

Thumbs Down – Pharrell Williams’ Furniture is N.E.R.D.Y.

Pharrell Williams, the lead singer of the rock/hip-hop group N.E.R.D., is a very talented musician, producer and beat manufacturer.  Not only has he been successful with his music group, but he has also succeeded as an individual performer, being featured on various tracks from well known hip-hop artists.  However, something you may not have known about Pharrell is that he doesn’t limit himself only to music.  He co-founded the clothing lines Billionaire Boys Club and Ice Cream Footwear, and he has helped design glasses and jewelry for Louis Vuitton as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another area that Pharrell has ventured into has been furniture design.  However, I don’t think his success will be the same.  So far, Pharrell has worked with Galerie Emmanuel Perrotin in order to create interesting chair designs.  As you can see, the chairs are a bit different.  I’m all for people branching out and trying their luck in different areas and professions; but, sometimes it just doesn’t work out.  Seeing these designs just reminds me of the Saturday Night Live skit with Nuni and Nuni, the husband and wife art dealers who boost interesting and creative sets of chairs to sit on.  Maybe Pharrell can be their personal furniture designer.

Autocomplete Me – Thumbs Up

You know how Google has an autocomplete function – so when you are typing in your search, it tries to help you out by giving you popular searches?  Well there are some crazy autocompletes out there and they are collected at www.autocompleteme.com.  Here are some examples of the comedy you will encounter there:

 

 

  

Citrus Soldier – Thumbs Up

Citrus Soldier describes itself as: A daily webcomic randomly snatched from the good people at Flickr™.  The guy that runs the site, picks a random photo from the photo sharing website Flickr, and writes a caption for it.  Although he has stopped updating on a daily basis, there are over 300 funny archived photos to browse through.  Check it out when you have a few minutes to spare (or especially if you have some procrastination to do).  Here are some examples of his work:

 

Thumbs Up-Good After-Morning!

As a fan of The Office, I often wonder what it would be like if you actually had to work for someone like Micheal Scott. But part of me always feels relieved because there is no way that a business could survive with a person like that in charge right?

Thankfully the internet is always proving me wrong with the blog “Good After-Morning!” by Silent Koala who “is an office-bound marsupial who for sins of a former life is condemned to a lifetime of drudgery in the shipping industry. The following is unfortunately entirely true and accurate, only the names have been changed.”

You can’t help laugh at the hair-pulling stupidity that this poor soul has to deal with on a daily basis. Whether he’s being asked about spelling:

The Boss : “How do you spell ‘twelfth’?”

Here’s me : “T-W-E-L-F-T-H”

The Boss : “No, when you’re writing it down.”

Here’s me :”Ehwha? Same way, I’m pretty sure?”

The Boss : “No, I mean when you’re writing it down just a number 12 with a t-h after it.”

Here’s me : “I think you may already know.”

The Boss : “Yes but is there an ‘F’ in it?”

or trying to decipher exactly what’s being said:

The Boss : “How many diners do you get?”

Here’s me : “Is this a joke? Are you sure you’re telling it right?”

The Boss : “Don’t be funny.”

Here’s me : “OK.”

The Boss : “So?”

Here’s me : “What?”

The Boss : “How many diners do you get to the pound?”

The penny should have dropped for me by now, but I’m very tired.

Here’s me : “I wish. Just for once. That I knew. What in the flying blue fuck you were talking about.”

The Boss : “How many Arabby Diners?”

Here’s me : “Wha?”

The Boss : “Durham?”

Here’s me : “Wha?”

I’ll spare you the rest of this exchange but it turns out the question I was being asked was “What is the exchange rate of (United Arab Emirates Dirhams) to Pounds Sterling”.

You almost feel bad laughing, but the stories are just too ridiculous n0t to. So if you’re feeling like you’ve reached the limit of incompetent people in your life check out http://goodaftermornings.blogspot.com/ because after you read a couple of these entities walking someone through how to use the printer for the tenth time doesn’t quite seem as bad anymore.